What would they do？
- Riddle with: 在...上打许多洞，漏洞百出
- Perpetrator: 加害者，犯罪者
Being someone who pleases people sounds, on the face of it, like a very good idea. But it is pattern of behavior riddled with problems, as much for the perpetrator as for their audience.
- People-pleasers: 讨好他人的人
- Mould somebody to the expectation: 使某人符合期待
- All manner of: 各种各样的
The people-pleaser is someone, who feels they have no option but to mould themselves to the expectations of others, and yet, harbors all manner of secret and reservations and resentments.
- Act like: 表现得像
- In due time: 适时地
They act like the perfect lover when their real feelings are much darker; They give their assent to plans they hate，and they confuse everyone around them by failing to express in due time with the requisite courage, their authentic needs and ambitions.
Why being a people-pleaser？
- Poignant: 辛酸的，悲惨的
Putting it bluntly, we could say that people-pleaser is a liar. It sounds brutal, but people-pleaser is lying for poignant reasons:
not in order to gain advantage, but because they are terrified of the displeasure of others.
- Fly into volcanic rage: 勃然大怒
- Be frank about: 易于接受
- Annihilation: 灭绝，消灭
To understand and potentially sympathize with people-pleaser, we need to look at their past.
Perhaps our father flew into volcanic rage at any sign of disagreement，to present an opposing political idea, to suggest we wanted something different to eat, to be frank about our tiredness or anxiety. All these could threaten us with annihilation.
To survive, we needed to be acutely responsible to what others expected us to do and say.
- Manically: 急躁地，狂躁地
- Second-guess: 猜测，预测
The very question of what we might really want became secondary to an infinitely more important priority.
Manically second-guessing the desires of those on whom, at that time, our lives depended.
However understandable the origins of our behavior, in the more reflective moments of adulthood, we might find three paths out from these difficult patterns of people-pleasing.
The first relies on reminding ourselves that our colleagues, partners and friends are almost certainly very different from the people around whom our anxieties evolved in childhood.
Most humans can cope quite well with a bit of contradiction, a dose of unwelcome information or an occasional rejection, delivered with requisite politeness. The other is not going to explode or dissolve.
We learned a very particular habit of relating to the world around a group of people who were not representative of humanity as a whole.
Secondly, we need to acknowledge the inadvertently harmful side-effects of our behavior.
We may genuinely have good intentions, but we are endangering everyone, by not speaking more frankly.
At work, we aren't doing anyone a service by withholding our doubts and reservations,
And in love, there is no kindness in staying in a relationship simply because it seems the other might not survive without us.
They will, but we will have wasted a lot of their time through our sentimentality.
Finally, we can acquire the confidence to be artful about the difficult message we have impart.
As a child, we couldn't nuance the messages we want to send out.
We didn't know how to craft our raw pain and needs into convincing explanations.
But now, it is open to us to be firm in our own views, but extremely genial as well.
We can say no while indicating that we feel a lot of goodwill;
We can say someone is wrong, without imply that they are idiots;
We can leave someone, while ensuring they realize how much a relationship meant to us;
We can，in other words，be pleasant without being people-pleasers.