英语幽默

The barber began. He cut and cut for a long time and then he said to Len, “Were you in the army a few years ago?”
理发师剪了起来。他不停地剪了好长时间，然后他对莱恩说：“你几年前是在部队吧？”

The girl was very surprised and said, “But,sir, I can’t sing at all.”
女孩很吃惊，说道：“可是，长官，我一点都不会唱。”

When Billy was very small, he loved pictures. His mother often drew some for him on old pieces of paper. She was very bad at drawing, but Billy enjoyed her pictures and always wanted more.

Jack went to Manchester by train. He left the station, and thought, “The office isn’t far from the station. I’ll find it easily.”
杰克乘坐火车去了曼彻斯特。他离开了车站，心想：“事务所离火车站不远。我会很容易找到的。”

General Pershing was a famous American officer. He was in the American army, and fought in Europe in the First World War.
珀欣将军是一位著名的美国军官。在第一次世界大战中，他在美国部队服役，在欧洲打过仗。

两个士兵在营地。第一个名叫乔治，第二个名叫比尔。乔治说：“比尔，你有一张纸和一个信封吗？”

他的第一座房子里有一个非常好的古钟，来人把他的家具搬到新房子时，约翰心想：“我不让他们用卡车搬我这漂亮的古钟。也许他们会把它弄坏的，修理它会花很多钱。”于是他把它搬起来，抱着它沿着道路往前走。

Dave worked in a factory, and he always made sandwiches in the morning, took them to work and ate them at midday.
戴夫在一家工厂工作，他总是在早上做些三明治，带着去上班，中午吃。

交通灯变红的时候，哈里没有停下车，他撞上了另一辆汽车。哈里跳下车，跑了过去。车里有一个老人。他非常惊吓，对哈里说：“你在干什么？你差点要了我的命！”

一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。

It's a night. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John's younger brother. He asks John "What are you doing?"
这是一个晚上。约翰抬头看着天空。汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰：“你在干什么？”

Mum: Look at your socks. One is short, the other is long. You must have put on the wrong ones.
妈妈：小东，看你的袜子一只长，一只短，你肯定穿错了。