英语幽默

As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that 'Time is money'?"
当出租车在遇到红灯急刹车时，我问司机：“你同意‘时间就是金钱’这种说法吗？”

With his last bit of energy, he pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, and to the stairs. Then down the stairs and into the kitchen.
因此他用最后一点力气，翻下床，爬到楼梯那，下楼到了厨房。

A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite.
一个胖男人和一个瘦男人正在为谁更有礼貌而争吵。

Young hopeful: "Father, what is a traitor in politics?
有希望的青年人：“父亲，什么叫政治叛徒？”

A smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit, "Hey mom, the dentist says I have no cavities."
小男孩看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。”

No matter which girl he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother.
有位青年发现无论带哪一个女孩回家，总会遭到母亲的反对。

A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall
一位住在旅馆的绅士把他的雨伞放在了大厅里

Herman says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"
赫尔曼说，“我知道，但不是一个，而是成百上千个！”

Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
老师：1809年发生了什么重大事件？

"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."
“等等，”那位顾客咆哮道，“另外一个龙头同样标的是C。”

Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.
最后，来了位油漆匠，自信能调出那种颜色。富婆对他做的活非常满意，油漆匠于是一举成名。

My advantage is that I am handsome, but my disadvantage is that the handsomeness is not so obvious.
我的优点是：我很帅，我的缺点是：我帅的不够明显。