英语幽默

"I'll talk to her," his mother said, "and I promise this time she won't make any noise."
“我会告诉她，”妈妈说，“我保证这次她不会吵闹了。”

Father: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. What were you doing last term?
父亲：我曾许诺说，如果你考试及格就给你买辆小汽车，可你却没通过考试。你上学期一直在干什么呀？

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

Aunt: How did Jim do his history examination?
姨妈：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？

Johnny: Papa, would you be glad if I saved a dollar for you?
约翰尼：爸爸，如果我为你省下一美元，你高兴不？

Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?
体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗？

Son: Dad, give me a dime.
儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是燕子，另一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition - If I Am a Manager.
有一天在课堂上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一名经理”为题写一篇作文。

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."
维尔和比尔为谁的爸爸更强壮而争吵不休。维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗？那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”