英语幽默

Aunt: How did Jim do his history examination?
姨妈：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？

Johnny: Papa, would you be glad if I saved a dollar for you?
约翰尼：爸爸，如果我为你省下一美元，你高兴不？

Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?
体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗？

Son: Dad, give me a dime.
儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是燕子，另一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition - If I Am a Manager.
有一天在课堂上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一名经理”为题写一篇作文。

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."
维尔和比尔为谁的爸爸更强壮而争吵不休。维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗？那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”

Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?
凯特：妈妈，你知道我要送你一件什么生日礼物吗？

"Thanks-it was from my boyfriend. Here, try some," she said, holding the bottle out for me.
“谢谢——是男朋友送的，来，洒些试试。”她说着把瓶子递给我。

Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
老师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到？

Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.
比尔是一个好学生，也是个聪明的孩子。他喜欢学数学，课本上所有的数学问题他都能不费劲地解答。

One day, the teacher inquired Peter: "How much is four minus four?" Peter was tongue-tied.
一天，老师问彼得：“4减4等于几？”彼得张口结舌答不上来。