英语幽默

玛丽是个英国女孩，但是她住在罗马。她六岁了。去年她的妈妈跟她说：“现在你六岁了，玛丽，你要开始在这儿上学了。你会非常喜欢的，因为那是一个很好的学校。”

上星期二，一位老太太外出购物。她来到了一家银行，看见门口附近有一辆小汽车。一个男子下车进入银行。她朝车里面看了看。钥匙插在锁里。

琼斯先生有几天的假期，因此他说：“我打算坐火车到山里去。”他穿上最好的衣服，带上一个小包，去火车站上了火车。他戴着一顶漂亮的礼帽，旅途期间，他经常把头伸到窗外去看山。但是风把他的帽子吹掉了。

“Well, that’s good,” Mrs Reece said. “We can eat for two hours for ￡1.50 here. This is the place for us.”
“哦，那样好，”里斯夫人说。“在这儿花1.5英镑我们可以吃两个小时。这个地方正适合我们。”

The clerk was busy, but when he finished his work, he went to a big pile of letters and said, “What name, please?”
职员很忙，但是等他忙完，就走到一大堆信件前说：“请问是什么名字？”

Then he died suddenly, and people said, “His servant killed him, because they wanted his money.”
后来他突然死了，人们都说：“他的佣人杀死了他，因为他们想要他的钱。”

“Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I get you?” the man behind the bar asked.
“下午好，两位先生。你们要点什么？”吧台后面那个人问道。

“Oh, no,” answered Bruce, “I’m going home.”
“哦，不是，”布鲁斯回答，“我在回家呢。”

“I’ve never fished in the sea before,” he thought. “It will be rather different from fishing in our river.”
“我以前从来没有在海里钓过鱼，”他心想。“这跟在我们的河里钓鱼会完全不同。”

Annie stopped crying, but did not answerfor a few seconds. Then she said, “I hit him on the head with it.”
安妮不再哭了，但是有几秒钟没有回答。然后她说：“我用它打他的头了。”

Without stopping, Mr Hermann answered, “All right, dear. How much is it?”
海尔曼没有停步，回答道：“好的，亲爱的。多少钱？”

Mick lived in the country, and he had quitea big garden. He grew vegetables, and he had some nice, fat chickens too. Hesold the eggs and the meat, and got quite a lot of money for them.
米克住在乡下，他有一个大园子。他种蔬菜，还养了一些又好又肥的鸡。他卖鸡蛋和肉，从中赚到许多钱。