英语幽默

Mr and Mrs Smith were singers, and they travelled a lot. Whenever they went by plane, people searched them and their luggage, of course.
史密斯夫妇是歌唱家，他们经常旅行。每次他们乘飞机旅行时，人们当然检查他们和他们的行李。

“Yes, please, Miss,” Dick said. “Why do men wear black in this country when they marry, Miss?”
“是的，请问，老师，”迪克说。“在我国，男人结婚的时候，为什么穿黑衣服呢，老师？”

Nat lay on the ground for a few seconds and then he sat up and said, “Where am I?”
纳特在地上躺了几秒钟，然后坐起来说：“我这是在哪儿呀？”

“She’s a nasty one,” he said angrily. “Don’t talk to her.”
“她是个险恶的姑娘，”他生气地说。“别跟她说话。”

Then his captain heard about this, and one day he brought him a watch too and said, “My watch has stopped. Can you mend it for me, please?”
后来他的上尉听说了这件事，有一天，他也给他拿来了一块手表，说：“我的手表停了。请给我修一下，好吗？”

“Oh,” she said, “you have played before, have you?”
“哦，”她说，“你打过，对吗？”

The barber began. He cut and cut for a long time and then he said to Len, “Were you in the army a few years ago?”
理发师剪了起来。他不停地剪了好长时间，然后他对莱恩说：“你几年前是在部队吧？”

The girl was very surprised and said, “But,sir, I can’t sing at all.”
女孩很吃惊，说道：“可是，长官，我一点都不会唱。”

When Billy was very small, he loved pictures. His mother often drew some for him on old pieces of paper. She was very bad at drawing, but Billy enjoyed her pictures and always wanted more.

Jack went to Manchester by train. He left the station, and thought, “The office isn’t far from the station. I’ll find it easily.”
杰克乘坐火车去了曼彻斯特。他离开了车站，心想：“事务所离火车站不远。我会很容易找到的。”

General Pershing was a famous American officer. He was in the American army, and fought in Europe in the First World War.
珀欣将军是一位著名的美国军官。在第一次世界大战中，他在美国部队服役，在欧洲打过仗。

两个士兵在营地。第一个名叫乔治，第二个名叫比尔。乔治说：“比尔，你有一张纸和一个信封吗？”