英语幽默

“I’ve never fished in the sea before,” he thought. “It will be rather different from fishing in our river.”
“我以前从来没有在海里钓过鱼，”他心想。“这跟在我们的河里钓鱼会完全不同。”

Annie stopped crying, but did not answerfor a few seconds. Then she said, “I hit him on the head with it.”
安妮不再哭了，但是有几秒钟没有回答。然后她说：“我用它打他的头了。”

Without stopping, Mr Hermann answered, “All right, dear. How much is it?”
海尔曼没有停步，回答道：“好的，亲爱的。多少钱？”

Mick lived in the country, and he had quitea big garden. He grew vegetables, and he had some nice, fat chickens too. Hesold the eggs and the meat, and got quite a lot of money for them.
米克住在乡下，他有一个大园子。他种蔬菜，还养了一些又好又肥的鸡。他卖鸡蛋和肉，从中赚到许多钱。

Mr and Mrs Smith were singers, and they travelled a lot. Whenever they went by plane, people searched them and their luggage, of course.
史密斯夫妇是歌唱家，他们经常旅行。每次他们乘飞机旅行时，人们当然检查他们和他们的行李。

“Yes, please, Miss,” Dick said. “Why do men wear black in this country when they marry, Miss?”
“是的，请问，老师，”迪克说。“在我国，男人结婚的时候，为什么穿黑衣服呢，老师？”

Nat lay on the ground for a few seconds and then he sat up and said, “Where am I?”
纳特在地上躺了几秒钟，然后坐起来说：“我这是在哪儿呀？”

“She’s a nasty one,” he said angrily. “Don’t talk to her.”
“她是个险恶的姑娘，”他生气地说。“别跟她说话。”

Then his captain heard about this, and one day he brought him a watch too and said, “My watch has stopped. Can you mend it for me, please?”
后来他的上尉听说了这件事，有一天，他也给他拿来了一块手表，说：“我的手表停了。请给我修一下，好吗？”

“Oh,” she said, “you have played before, have you?”
“哦，”她说，“你打过，对吗？”